Bad Art Auction

Every round you are handed a secret brief — an art period and a subject, say "Baroque" and "A cat on the throne" — and three minutes to paint it. Skill is explicitly not required. Then Monsieur Jean-Baptiste Merde-Alors, the house appraiser, looks at what you made and says what he thinks of it. He minces no words.

Then each work goes under the hammer, one lot at a time. Everybody bids with real money from their own account, and bidding on your own painting is allowed — encouraged, even, if you think the room has missed a masterpiece. Only after the hammer falls is the appraisal revealed: anywhere from 10 € to 2,000,000 €, paid out in cash to whoever owns the piece. Buy a bargain and you profit instantly. Overpay and everyone watches you find out.

Most money at the end wins.

FEATURES

• 1-8 players — invite friends with a link, or play solo against the guests of the house

• 40 subjects across 29 art periods, from cave painting to AI art

• An appraiser who actually looks at your painting and roasts what he sees

• Bid, snipe and go all-in in live auctions

• Four languages: English, German, French, Spanish

• Plays on desktop, tablet and phone — mouse or finger, nothing else needed

Paint with the mouse or your finger. Pick colours and brush sizes from the palette beside the canvas; the bucket fills, the arrow undoes.

Everything else is a click or a tap: name your painting, place bids with the preset buttons or type your own amount, and hit ALL-IN when you are feeling brave.

No keyboard required.